It's Time to Protect Arizona Midwives & Homebirth Rights

Hello out there, dear readers...

As most of you know, big changes are coming down the pipeline in Arizona regarding licensed midwives and client rights for homebirths.

These changes are not good ones. In fact, they are disastrous. If the current proposed regulations go through, (1) Arizona midwives will no longer be able to practice safely, due to (among other things) a removal of their ability to carry and administer life-saving medications (such as pitocin for postpartum hemorrhage), (2) homebirth clients will lose the right to informed refusal of state-dictated prenatal, intrapartum. and postpartum procedures and tests, and (3) many additional restrictions and requirements will be added to homebirth midwifery that will prevent midwives from practicing and serving their clients well, and which will restrict client access to safe homebirth midwifery services.

Even I, who have had three safe and uncomplicated homebirths, will most likely lose access to legally-attended homebirth should these new regulations pass.

You can read an excellent summary of what's going on here.

You can leave your comments here.

Please take a minute to follow the above link and leave comments regarding these regulations. You do not have to be an Arizona resident or homebirth client to leave comments, and all are appreciated. Please remember to keep all comments calm, polite, and evidence-based. Flinging accusations or being rude or argumentative will get us nowhere.

Regulations will take effect on July 1st unless changes are made.

Thanks, everyone!

New Resource for Hyperemesis Moms in Arizona

Arizona birth professionals, please add this to your list of resources to give to your hyperemesis mamas - a new Facebook group specifically for hyperemesis women in Arizona! A wonderful local resource for help and support.

HG Moms of Arizona

See you there! 

Stopping By, Checking In, Stepping Out!

Hello, dear readers!

A few quick updates.... but first, my latest zero-carb cooking project - CHEESECAKE. 

As a matter of fact, it was awful. But then again, we run up against one of the unbreakable laws of the universe: Cheesecake is cheesecake.  Does it matter if it was terrible? YUM. I ate it anyway.

Besides, it grew on me. Let's pause briefly while I go get the last piece. Mmmm.

Okay, so back to what we were discussing. Or rather, speaking of rabbit trails, I have to mention that this is one of my favorite times in the Phoenix valley - time for the blooming of the palo verde trees! Huzzah! You have not seen true loveliness until you have seen a desert palo verde dripping with millions of brilliant yellow blooms. We stopped on the way to church today so that I could snap a few pictures.

Gorgeous? Yes, gorgeous!

Okay, enough rabbit trails! Get to the point!

Yes, the point, albeit an unpleasant one: Although I am currently bubbling over with various blog topics that I am eager to share with you...

Yes, they're all covered with notes and ideas for future blog entries. 

... at this point I feel that I am called on to take a blogging break. I don't want a break, but I've felt that I need to. And so, with that, I am planning to shelve blogging (*sob*) until at least the end of April. After that, we'll see. If I feel that I need to go on a longer break, I can... but hopefully I'll be back to writing at that point.

In the meantime, I'll be preparing for a really exciting new series that I want to share with you (on my other blog - feel free to join us!), tentatively titled "Plain and Simple." You've already read the first entry, in which I discussed why I love having only one car, and I'm planning to continue the series as a journal of my journey into examining the modern American life (read: frenzied, harried, stressed-out, and exhausted) and determining which parts of that lifestyle we want to alter or discard in our quest to develop a quiet, peaceful, family-centered life - more like that of pre-techie rural life or modern Amish life.

In this series, I plan to examine:

(1) Activities - Which need to go, and which do we need to add?
(2) Habits - What ways of life and ways of doing things should be adopted?
(3) Technologies - Which truly benefit us, and which cost more than they are worth?
(4) Mental and Spiritual Disciplines - What has to be developed and nurtured for a peaceful life?

I am very excited about this journey, and I am already experimenting with several life-changes which will form the first entries. Look for this in a couple of weeks (or months... whenever I get it started).

In the meantime, have a great couple of weeks, and I'll see you all in May!

From last week's desert adventure - we caught the last of the wildflowers! 

When Medical Mysteries Turn Nasty

Hello, dear readers!

I'd love to ask you all to pray for this sweet family that is dealing with a medical nightmare with their little girl. She is dealing with numerous conditions and a puzzling mystery of how to treat them and where to go for medical advice and help. It is extremely serious, and they are searching high and low for new options. They could really use your support and prayer! Local readers can also jump on their meal support schedule.

We pray for this family daily!

What Makes a Great Blog: A List of Tips!

I am, of course, writing this list of "how to blog well" tips because I am such a wonderful blogger and am ready to bless the world with my overflow of knowledge!

Stop laughing! I mean it!

No, in all seriousness - I am not writing this post because I am a great blogger, but because I read lots of great blogs!

In the years that I've been a passionate blog reader, I've had time to compile a list - what makes me click on a blog post, and what makes me pass one by? Some of those qualities are truly "content qualities," but many are, sadly, purely "appearance/presentation qualities" - i.e. how a post is presented to the world rather than actual content. Psychology 101, here we come!

And so, in no particular order, here are some "great blog characteristics" that I have compiled based on my own observations. Enjoy!

A Good Lookin' Blog - A few months back, I noticed that I had started to read a blog in my reader much more frequently than I had before. What had changed? Improved content? Nope - the content remained the same, but she had upgraded from a blah-and-boring background to a new-and-improved and visually appealing background. Voila - I found myself reading more often. The moral - looks matter. Pathetic, but true.

Length of Posts - Moderate or long posts = great. Super-short or marathon-length = not so awesome. (Super-short often means a lack of content, while marathon-length is apt to lose reader attention span. If you have something marathon-length to say, it helps to break it up into Part 1, Part 2, etc.)

Bring on the Links! - Lots of links within your posts to past posts or other pertinent sites or other bloggers' posts.

Short Paragraphs - This is a well-known technique. Short paragraphs make for easier reading! In fact, a while ago I gave up on one blogger who wrote in solid-block format (no matter how long her post, it was all in one unbroken paragraph). Regardless of content, it was exhausting to read.

Grammar, Spelling, Etc. - We all make mistakes, but grammar and spelling really do count. I have to admit, I do tend to click past blogs that begin, "Your not going to believe what their saying about..." Quality matters!

Clarity of Purpose - It helps to know the purpose of a blog. Is it a family blog? An issue-based blog? A short statement of purpose (and an intelligible blog name) help to focus your audience appeal and clarify your purpose in blogging.

Good Post Titles - If one thing makes me skip past a blog post, it is a vague or uninteresting post title! (Unless you're a friend or a really good blogger, in which case I read 'em all!) Example of a bad title: "Peer-Reviewed Studies, June 2011 to July 2012." When I see that, I've already scrolled past! Now, as to how to write an interesting title... I'll get back to you when I've found that out.

Decent Post Frequency - There's nothing more disappointing than finding a great blog... and then realizing that its most recent post was April of 2007! Blogging regularly enough to keep a blog active is a definite plus.

Social Media - Social media share-buttons on posts, or a Facebook group for your blog - huge pluses in gaining readership, and in being able to interact casually with your audience! (Unfortunately, the latter is often a huge time commitment over and above the blog itself, which is one reason that I don't do this. But if you want to grow your blog, this is the way!)

Pictures - I find that I am many times more likely to click on a post that has a picture attached to it. Again, this is not content-related but is instead purely a presentation issue.

Author Bio and Picture - I like to feel connected to the author, which is hard to do if the blog author is anonymous or unidentified! A page with author bio, picture, and contact information is a huge plus.

Sidebar Link Lists - Link lists on the blog sidebars (to past posts or links outside the blog) is a huge plus in garnering reader interest and providing more information for your readers. Keep it updated! (Again, I need to do this.)

Civility - Nothing is more likely to make me click "unsubscribe" than vulgarity, profane language, irreverence, or the like. Everyone differs in her tolerance for this, but it's a huge turn-off for me.

Evidence of Work - Readers appreciate it when bloggers have truly done their homework, putting their minds and their hearts into their posts. Lazy blog posts will lose readers! For example, a blog post that consists only of, "So, everyone, what do you think of President Obama? Discuss!" just won't work. Links, quotes, discussion, etc., are needed to make it work and obtain greater readership.

What would you add to this list, gentle readers?

Following my own advice: Adding a picture, even though it is totally irrelevant to the article. Aren't you feeling more likely to read this post now? 

Getting Radical on Y'All

Hi, ladies! I thought some of you might like this article that I posted to my other blog. So sit back, relax, get comfortable, and prepare to be highly offended!

 *** 

 Lately, an article that I read several years ago has come to mind - check it out:

Conversations of a Husband and Wife

Most of you probably know (from the absurd frequency with which I quote from it) that this is one of my favorite blogs. I love it. But when I read that particular article, I found it a bit... extreme. Okay, yeah, sure, I get the whole Christian "submission thing."

"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord." (Ephesians 5:22)

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Got it.

But... this blogger took it a bit too far, in my never-to-be-humble opinion. She wrote:

"I sat down in this chair last night, pen and paper in hand, lists of questions on my mind. I needed his input. I needed guidance. I needed to sit under authority."

You're kidding me, right? Sit under my husband's authority? Get his advice when my own mind is just as bright as his, thank-you-very-much?

"I must be honest, some of the things that were on my mind involved him and perceptions I had about his priorities and the priorities of our household, but I knew I could not come into the conversation with both guns blazing, throwing accusations at him and trying to control the outcome of his answers.

 "I consciously put myself under his headship and what followed was an amazingly insightful and blessed conversation that took a load of burden off my back and reset my focus as the lady of the home."

This was a bit much for me at the time. I had come to accept wifely submission as a reality of the Christian life - you know, that after a long and vicious fight over [issue A], I would grudgingly give in and do what he wanted, all while giving long, exasperated sighs to let him know that I was only submitting because I was such a good wife, even though he was wrong and I was right.

But to seek his advice? To sit under his authority? To purposely ask for his input, direction, advice - and what's more, act on it?

Thank you, but no.

However, over the past few years, I have come so far with this issue, and I'm so glad that Amy had the guts to tackle it on her blog. I so needed to hear wisdom on that subject from a godly "older woman" (she is older in faith, if not in age).

I am now in a place where I actively put this advice into action, and it is such a blessing in my life. When I have issues that perplex me regarding our home, our schedule, our homeschool, or our life in general (and at least one of the above is usually a subject of confusion at any given time!), I have learned the habit of going - not to my friends or the internet - but to my husband. And the Lord has richly blessed this. Even when I feel that I have more "head knowledge" than my husband does on a certain issue, God blesses my efforts to respect and honor my husband as my (and our family's) federal head.

Additionally, I see my husband grow by leaps and bounds in his efforts to lead our family well as he sees me respect him and value and seek his opinion. When men are respected, they will move heaven and earth to be worthy of that respect.

Life is just better when I do things God's way.

In the same vein, I read another article several years ago that has been sitting on the back burner of my mind ever since. Go read it. (I'll wait.)

Submission and Silence

I found myself absolutely fascinated by Anne's discussion on the topic of the following verse:

“…women should remain silent in the churches. They are not allowed to speak, but must be in submission, as the Law says. If they want to inquire about something, they should ask their own husbands at home; for it is disgraceful for a woman to speak in the church” (1 Corinthians 14:34-35).

Like most people, I have glossed over those verses without much thought, other than the occasional, "Okay, that was weird. Whatever." But as I have grown in my Christian walk, I have learned that the Bible was meant to be taken seriously. There are no irrelevant parts to the Bible, and we do ourselves a disservice by dismissing or ignoring any of God's inspired Word.

But seriously? Women keep silent in church? Not ask questions, but ask their husbands at home? You've got to be kidding! While it is absolutely clear in Scripture that women are not to teach in the church (i.e. be pastors or teach from the pulpit), I had never really paid attention to the "silent in church" bit.

But God said it. And He doesn't say things that He doesn't mean.

So over the past half-year or so, I have attempted to put this into practice! In other words, when I have a question about the sermon, I have made a conscious effort not to ask the pastor/teacher about it (or to look it up on the internet), but rather to save it and ask my husband at home. "So, hon, when the pastor at church today said such-and-such, I wasn't sure about that. What do you think?" etc.

And again, I have been blown away by how much this simple act of obedience has blessed our family!

When I come to my husband and ask him these questions, I can visibly see him grow spiritually as he realizes how much I trust him and his opinion, and how much I am relying on him (instead of another man or the internet) to answer my spiritual questions. I could never have anticipated how much spiritual growth would be occasioned by simply trusting my husband to answer my questions.

Again. Life is just better when I obey God's Word and do it His way!

Sometimes I don't understand the why of obedience until after I've obeyed (and sometimes not even then). Sometimes it takes a long time to see the blessing of obedience. As we tell our six-year-old, "Obey first and then ask for an explanation." But every time, God honors His Word, and He honors our family when we obey it.

I love watching how God leads and develops our family toward Himself. 

Be blessed!

The Gross, the Violent, and the Really, Really Painful: Moments of Parenting Reality

I've already written about the diaper that changed the world - a moment of parenting reality that took three loads of laundry, an entire morning, and a half-hour seance with the garden hose to deal with. In that same vein, I am pleased to introduce another entry in the ongoing "Grossest Parenting Moments" contest!

{Please skip the first part if you are currently nauseated!}

This occurrence dates to a few months back, to yet another Sunday morning at church, when both my husband and I were each holding a baby (our usual modus operandi).

During the singing, I looked over at my husband and realized several things at once. Firstly, that the baby he was holding needed a new diaper. Secondly, that said diaper was not just "wet." Thirdly, that the baby in question had stuck his hand down his diaper... and was now blissfully rubbing the contents of that diaper into DH's beard while DH, completely unaware, was focused on the singing.

A few frenzied pokes to the side made him aware him of the situation, and we immediately and hurriedly evacuated the premises for a very long family clean-up time in the bathroom.

Ah, parenting. It's those Kodak moments that really get you.

Though, in reality, this reality moment was much less gross than the other! And far easier to clean up.

Moving on to our next cameo...

This past week, I was busy working when I turned around and, to my horror, saw our toddler eagerly putting himself into a situation of serious danger. Ack!

The next few moments are a blur in my memory, because they happened so quickly. However, I have a vague memory of throwing down what I was doing and leaping across the room, knocking said toddler to the floor (and thankfully out of danger).

In the process of flinging myself thus, however, I took the full impact of the fall (which happened on our tile floor) on both knees. How I landed on my knees I'm not sure, but the result was, of course, sudden and excruciating pain. I found myself sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth and wishing vaguely that my birth doula could be there to talk me through the waves of pain.

If you had wandered into our house at that time, you would have seen a very puzzling sight - me sitting on the floor, rocking back and forth while holding a crying toddler, listening to the sound of our dinner burning on the stove (and unable to do anything about it).

We stayed on the floor for about half an hour, until I could finally get up, but my knees still hurt! Furthermore, one in particular has burst out in the most amazing bruising that you've ever seen in your life. I'd post pictures, but I'm opposed to posting pictures that gross on the internet, LOL!!

And there you have it. Parenting, the real story. Before we become parents we dream of cuddling with affectionate babies, cooing lullabies to infants, reading classic books to wide-eyed grade-schoolers. Yes, there's that... but the real story of parenting also includes beards rubbed with unmentionable substances and time on the floor dealing with excruciating pain. That's life for ya.

Anyone else have some of the down-and-dirty moments of parenting to share?

Yes, this is the guilty culprit (one of them, at least). 

Aggressive Plants, Deadly Arachnids, and Scorching Heat: What's Not to Love?

After all, "It's a dry heat!" Right??

I've spent some time thinking about this topic - the various virtues of the Phoenix valley - for a very specific reason. The reason - I never wanted to live here! It's hot, dry, and rain-free, and my love is for the weather of the Pacific northwest - cool, cloudy, and rainy. So Phoenix is not really my kind of place!

But you know what? God placed me here! Not in Oregon or Washington or England or Scotland. Here. Furthermore, I may be here for the rest of my life! (Which would be fine with me, as a matter of fact - I very much dislike moving!) That being so, it is a case of needing to learn to have a spirit of gratitude for God's provision - and a "learn to love it" attitude. 

With that in mind, here are all the things (in no particular order) that I love about Phoenix! 

Hospitals & Doctors - You hope never to need them, but when you need a hospital or doctor, we have them by the thousands. We have three hospitals within ten minutes of our house! 

Naturopathic Doctors - Probably due to the naturopathic medical college in Tempe, our area abounds with wonderful naturopathic doctors and naturopathic medical resources. Love it. 

Museums & Attractions - We have wonderful museums and attractions in the Phoenix valley! From the Musical Instrument Museum and the Firefighters' Museum, to the Phoenix Zoo and the Arizona Museum of Natural History - hundreds (I'm guessing) of things to see and do. We haven't seen even a small fraction of what there is to see here!

Parks - When I was growing up in Southern California, parks (in my mind) were definitely classified as "dirty, scary places that I would never even think of wanting to go to." Ick! But here in the east valley, the parks are wonderful - safe, clean, attractive, and fun. And there are lots of them! 

A Cleaner and Prettier Living Environment - Cleaner and prettier than my area of Southern California, that is! Of course, that's not saying much. Pretty much anywhere is - my home county was recently classified as the "dirtiest place in the U.S." Yup, it's true. When we went back to visit this summer, my first thought was, "How on earth did I manage to live here for twenty-odd years?" Phoenix has cleaner air, prettier communities and freeways, far less traffic, and is just a nicer and more attractive place to live. 

The Desert! - I'm not a desert rat, but the desert is beautiful! Especially on a fall or spring evening - mmmm. I love the desert! Add in cool weather and a beautiful sunset, and I'm one happy camper. 

Monsoons - If you haven't yet seen a monsoon, you should join us for one! Gorgeous! Best lightning displays in the country. We always go out onto our patio to watch the rain and the lightning show - and to look for spadefoot toads, which only come out during monsoons! Love those summer storms!

Homeschooling Laws - Unlike other unfortunate states, where the government does its best to usurp the rights of parents by interfering heavily in home education, Arizona has awesome homeschooling laws which promote a healthy homeschooling culture. God grant that it stay that way. 

Homeschooling Community - We are still getting to know our awesome homeschool community, which here in the valley is large and thriving. We have met so many amazing people!

Birth Community - Phoenix, especially the east valley, has a large, active, and thriving community of birth professionals, with lots of professional associations and community events, and I have greatly enjoyed getting to know this community. 

Community Resources - I've always wanted to live in the country, but I have to say that living in the city is definitely convenient - we have any and every resource at our fingertips. 

Midwifery Laws - Though they're in a state of flux at the moment, Arizona has excellent (not the best, but still excellent) homebirth midwifery laws. Thanks to those laws, we have had three legal and safe homebirths with several of the valley's wonderful certified professional midwives. 

Wildflowers - Reverting to the desert - Have you ever seen desert wildflowers? They are splendid! Which reminds me - we need to get out and see them!

Blooming Palo Verdes - I am waiting anxiously for these - they are a beyond-gorgeous sight. 

No Natural Disasters - Monsoons are dramatic, but they rarely do serious damage (and they're fun!). It is nice not having to dread hurricane season or flood season. 

Christian Community - We have discovered a large and wonderful community of Christian believers here in the valley, many of whom are now lifelong friends and have a very special place in our hearts. 

The People in General - We have made so many friends here (store clerks! neighbors! church friends!) and really enjoy getting to know the wonderful people of Arizona. 

Okay, my lovely readers! What do YOU love about Phoenix? Or about a place that you live (but which wasn't your first choice)? Bring it on! 

Why My Parenting Skills Need to Be Better than My Gardening Skills

I found the following Spurgeon quote in my latest copy of "Above Rubies":

“If any of you think that you have a perfect child, you will find yourselves grievously mistaken—the time will come when you will discover that evil is lurking there as it is in you, the father, or in you, the mother—and it will only need a suitable opportunity to display itself! It will scarcely need fostering by ill companions—but even in a godly household where the atmosphere of piety abounds—sin will grow up in the child as naturally as weeds grow in a garden that is left to itself.”—1901, Sermon #2734

This post really struck me - for several reasons. Firstly, as I have before stated, it has been a source of constant amazement to me how hard parenting is. I had always assumed that it was something of a side job. "Hey, I run an international company, lecture at the garden club, and teach judo. Oh-and-I-have-two-wonderful-kids-at-home." Something that just didn't take much time or effort to do well.

Boy, was I wrong. Parenting is a day-in-day-out, 24-7 job that requires an incredible amount of time, prayer, and constant effort. It is the most challenging thing that I have ever done - and the one with the most potential for either good or disaster (I'm praying for the former).

Secondly, this quote resonated with me because of its applicability to my front planter - which at the moment, happens to be occupied by an extremely neglected garden. I've already written about how bad character traits or habits in children are just like weeds, and the similar analogy to a neglected garden is just as apt.

Neglected gardens just don't happen! Or rather, they happen, but they happen badly. Our "garden," at the moment, consists of lettuce gone to seed, moth-eaten undeveloped cabbages (not sure what happened to the "cabbage" part of the cabbages), chard that never grew because I forgot to water it, and micro-carrots (less than an inch in length) that didn't grow properly because we didn't till the ground well or thin them when we should have.

What a mess!

 I'm sure the analogy isn't hard to draw!

I don't mind having a neglected garden - I can always start over (or just nuke the entire thing and plant groundcover). But I would mind very much if my parenting went the same way. Though I may or may not do a good job, I want to try, try, try to do the best I can. Watering, weeding, feeding, and constant efforts to do my best - that is what I want to do, and what I need to do. This is the biggest job I will ever have, and I want to do a good job.

At this point, it's hopeless. Bring on the mower. 

 "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself brings his mother to shame." 

(Proverbs 29:15)

The Best Days Are When the Babies Come!

About seven years ago, DH helped a friend out with our church's College and Career Group. Since then, most of those "kids" have married... and are now having babies! Isn't life wonderful? (I feel like a grandmother!)

The mama of the latest baby to be born has just posted her birth story of little Stephen's birth, and I have to share - it is a lovely birth and a beautiful retelling. Kudos to her wonderful birth team, and congrats to this wonderful family! I cannot wait to see how this lovely family develops over the coming years.

Baby Stephen's Birthday!

I love this:

"I'll spare you any gory details, but I just want you to know that everything they say about potentially puking or peeing or being otherwise indecorous is entirely true. It is also true, though, that if you've got a good support team (for me, my husband and my doula) and an understanding medical staff (in our case, a midwife and nurse), labor can be a good memory, despite the discomfort and pain."

So very true!

Congratulations on the birth of your first little one, Kate!